This might be why I don't feel well lately

The last couple of weeks, I have been acting weird. I am sluggish and exhausted all the time, then I wake up and I am restless. I wobble around when I walk, and I get irritable really easy. I bit mom, and then I bit dad too. A few weeks ago, my medicine was increased, and I take more Potassium Bromide. It takes sometimes weeks to made an effect that changes anything, so Mom didn't think my weird behavior had anything to do with the medicine, and since Mom & Dad don't know me for very long, they thought I was being a bad dog or maybe I am kind of slow. Mom did a lot of research and found out that too much Potassium Bromide AND Phenobarbitol can cause my behavior. So, she is going to reduce the medicine and see if that makes me feel better. 


Mom and I were not doing so del for a couple of days because after I bit her in the eye she was scared of me. But we are doing so much better now! She laid down on the floor with me and we took a nap and stuff, and took walks and Mom made a Brocco song for me! Dad knows it and Mom knows it and some friends know it too, so people sing the Brocco song to me and it makes my tail happy! It goes like this:




My name is Brocco
I weigh one brocco
I am one full brocco long
I have white curly hair
And a goofy round head
And that is the first verse of my song


Yes, I am brocco
That rhymes with taco
I like chicken, and duck and fish
I like to take really long naps
And fall asleep with my head in my food dish


I...live...wiiiiiith.... Bunny Thing
She is a funny thing
She really likes to jump on my tail
Sometimes she chases me
And she sniffs my pee
And Dad calls the bunny 'Carpet Whale'




That's all so far. Mom says in a few years there will be, like, a gazillion verses to that song. 

Me and Mom

Better today.

I am feeling better today. Mom gave me hugs and said she is not mad at me, just to not do that again. So, we ran up and down my little hill, which is always fun, even when I wipe out at the bottom of the hill. I got treats and love and stuff so I guess things are back to normal. I get groomed on Wednesday, since I did not get groomed while Mom was sick. I am kinda nervous about that but there is a nice lady coming here to do it so I don't have to go to a place with other dogs and lots of noise. The sound of things buzzing, like vacuums, hair driers and electric shavers really scares me, especially if there is lots of things going on in the room. Mom's getting her hair done the same day so she said it is Dog And Mom Spa Day.  Oh, and I got to go and buy vegetables at the Farmer's Market, which was fun. There was a lady there selling goose eggs and I saw that and wagged my tail, that way Mom knows I like those. She got me one, but she said I cannot have it until I go a whole day without peeing in the house. I really, really want that goose egg.

Bunny Thing is now collecting yarn. She has a huuuuge stash of yarn behind the couch. She showed it to me. It's really impressive, like a yarn mountain! She likes to steal Mom's knitting yarn and take it back there to YarnTown. Her favorite thing to do is when Mom is knitting, and gets up to check on dinner or go to the bathroom or something, Bunny Thing grabs the yard she was using and runs behind the couch with it. I dunno how she picks it up- most of the yarn balls are bigger than she is. But she runs FAST with it! The other thing Bunny Thing likes to do is wait till Mom looks away and Bunny Thing bites through the string of yarn Mom was knitting with, so the thing she was working on starts to unravel! Bunny Thing and me, we laaaaaauuuuugh! Mom has to warn her friends who visit not to leave their cell phones with wires and stuff down where Bunny Thing can reach, because Bunny will bite through the wire and then look up and say,


"Can you hear me NOW?"


It's hilarious! Mom doesn't think it's funny though. Ok, she does a little.

I got some peanut butter on my nose. 

It me an hour to lick it off.

It was raining and I got all wet and gross outside.

Dad lit a fire and I dried by the fire.

Sleepy time!

Me and Mom.

Biting!

I am a baaaaaad dog. I was out for a walk with Mom and Dad and when we got home, Mom reached down to unlatch my lead from my harness and I bit her... hard... in her face. I went straight for her eye and it's not the first time I have done that. The first time I missed. This time I drew blood and Mom has a nasty, bloody bite under her eye where my fang scratched. Mom doesn't know why I did that. I am not sure why either. I was fine and happy and my tail was wagging. Everything was fine, and nothing was wrapped around my foot or anything. I just got cranky and I lost control for a second. Mom is really sad and angry and so is dad. I mean, I really got close to Mom's eye. I could have blinded her. Dad says that if this happens again, even though they love me, I will have to go back to foster care or a shelter- wherever will take me. I know why they are mad. Mom's eye is all swollen and sore. I am spending tonight in the bathroom and I don't get to play with Bunny Thing. No treats, no TV and no fun car rides. I am really sad right now.

Testing the dog park

We went to the park again today, and had a picnic, like we did yesterday. It was fun and I got to run a lot. But when I run at the regular park, I have to be on a leash because it is the law.  So, I can't just run free. It was really windy today and pretty cold, so not a lot of people were out at the regular park. So Mom said,


     "Let's go scout out the dog park. I bet there is no one there."


And there wasn't! not in the small doggie area anyway. So I got to have the whole dog park to myself! I got to run without the leash on and my ears were flying' in the wind! Mom and Dad chased me. Well, Mom chased me a little, but she still doesn't feel well so she sat down on the bench a while. But still, it was soooooo much fun! Mom was happy cuz she got to see how I do "off leash" without other dogs around to freak me out. Today has been a whole Brocco day! The park, dog park, rubbies, chasing lake chickens, licking Bunny Thing's head and now Mom is going to lay me on her lap and fix my eye goobers with a warm, wet washcloth, then detangle and brush me while  we watch a movie. I think we're gonna watch Harry Potter. Mom says I'm "Hufflepuff House", whatever that means.

Chicken treasures and getting along.

     Mom is doing a little better today, but is still pretty wrecked. The sick that she had has messed up her tummy so bad that she can't eat normal. She has to eat soup broth and coconut water and sometimes even that she wretches up. Mom said she was going "stir crazy" and needed some air today, so we went to the park, even though it was kinda cloudy outside. Dad brought some soup and a blanket for Mom and walked me around a little in the park. Mom was able to walk me a little and I was real good and did not pull because I know she is sick and can't walk fast like she normally does. She walked me to a leafy patch and I dug around a little and found a chicken bone from someone's BBQ! It was gorgeous! it was broken in half and covered in sauce and dirt and ants and what Mom called "Bum funk." I was so excited! I was gonna take that home so I could really take my time digging into that culinary treasure! *sigh* But, Mom took it away from me. I resisted but she swatted my butt and I dropped it. She said I can't have it because;


A.) "Brocco will choke on the brittle bones."
B.) "It's covered in ants."
C.) "It smells like a leper's ass."


Mom likes to break down arguments into ABC's. Anyway, she won and I did not get to keep the bone, but she gave me a "consolation prize" of a brand new bone and some peanut butter in my kong toy. That chicken bone would have been better though.


I have not been a very good boy these last few days though. Mom has been real sick and she is so sick that Dad has to take the rest of the week off work to take care of her. I've been barking A LOT. Especially at night when Mom needs to sleep. I feel bad but I can't help it. I am excited and confused and just need to bark. I know the humies are frustrated with me, but I can't help it. The potty training is not going so well either. They want me to poo outside, but I insist on pooing in the house. Sometimes I go half outside and save the rest for the house, which Dad says he doesn't understand. 


Me and Bunny Thing are getting along really good, but Mom says I need to "respect boundaries" that the Bunny Thing has established. Bunny Thing has two places she does't want me to be in; her food and water bowls, and her favorite lounging pillow. Bunny Thing always lays on this leather Turkish pillow that Mom says they got in Istanbul and Bunny confiscated it and made it her lounge palace. Well, I like that pillow too, and I like to lay my head on it and drool a lot, which grosses Bunny Thing out. So Bunny Thing gets mad and marks her territory, peeing on it a lot so I won't lay on it. But I still do. So Mom moves me if I lay on it. She says me and Bunny Thing both have "special places", like mine is my crate den, and Dad's office, which Bunny Thing is not even allowed to go into. And Bunny Thing has her pillow, so I guess I have more space than she does, so that's fair. Mom says she will designate me my own fluffy pillow, but I might "suffer the wrath of Bunny" if I get on her pillow again. 

Me, under the table on Game Night. That's my 

harness, which Mom calls "Dog Panties."

That leather pillow with patches is Bunny Thing's

favorite place. 

I like sleeping on the kitchen floor. Mom always finds me 

asleep in there and gives me a pillow and blanket.

On Dad's lap, getting rubs. Bliss.

Sick humies & falling over a lot.

My Mom is horrible sick with something called Norovirus. It's this awful virus that makes you wretch and get dehydrated real bad. Mom had to go to the hospital but she's home now, and on "bed rest." It was so bad she has lost eleven pounds in two days! I am trying to help as much as I can. I lay by mom and am on guard duty, so that if she starts to shake or anything, I bark and let Dad know. Dad said I am doing a great job. Dad is taking real good care of mom too. He pets her a lot and changes her vomit bucket. Mom says that's how you know someone loves you. So, I've been keeping Mom company when she's awake. We watched a movie together and I was real careful not to climb on her tummy cuz it's sore. Mom says that when she gets better, she will take me hiking in the hills. She says there is a creek I can play in and I can chase squirrels if I want to.

Mom & Dad are both kinda worried about me because I am pretty clumsy and that's ok, but I tend to fall over and hit my head on things a lot. Mom thinks that seizures might have caused developmental issues. I don't know what that means, but Mom says that when she gets all better she is going to put padding on some of the things I always bump my head on. I lay by mom's feet at her desk a lot, and there is a wooden bar there and I always bump my head on it, and the other thing is that I fall asleep on the couch and then I roll off of it. Mom put down throw pillows below the couch so that when I fall I don't bust my head. Most of the time I don't even wake up, so it doesn't bother me, but Mom says people with epilepsy should be careful about bumping their heads, so I should too.

Oh, and this morning, I got a paw massage! Mom was horrible sick, but she saw my paws are dry and cracked, so she heated up olive oil and rubbed my paws for a while while we watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Then I fell asleep on Mom's feet.

FSP's, chicken broth and doom.

I am a pretty big doggie. By big, I mean fat. The doggie doctor says I am obese, so Mom & Dad have been trying to get me to lose some weight. I've lost a little, but then I hurt my paw nails and didn't run as much for a while and gained most of the weight back. Mom doesn't like to give me dog treats because they are "high fat" and I gain weight when I eat them. She still gives me treats though. She has something she calls "Brocco Specials" which is this yummy little Cheerio looking thing that she dips in low calorie chicken broth. I really like those Brocco Specials, even though they are very tiny. Still, I like em a lot. Mom keeps the chicken broth in a special Brocco Bowl with a lid that makes a crinkly paper sound so I know it's a treat by the sound. 


I have also learned that I have superpowers. I can make highly potent smells from my backside that make humies freak out. Mom calls these little butt explosions FSPs… "Farts of Spectacular Potency." When I make FSPs, Mom jumps up and lights scented candles and Dad gasps for air. I can also make something called "Doom Farts" which will immediately clear the room of all humies. On Game Day, I like to do Doom Farts. I walk in the room, let out a Doom Fart, and then watch all the humies get up and leave. They don't even say anything. They just all get up and leave at the same time. I wagged my tail and asked Mom once why the humies don't say anything, and she said,


"Fart trauma."


Whatever that means.