Just a few days ago, I was fluffy and white and clean, but not anymore! Two days ago, I was out walking with Dad, and I went under a car. Dad tried to stop me, but I was so curious and he was carrying things, so he couldn't hold the lead tight enough. Well, I saw an opportunity to get under that parked car and see what was under there. It turns out- nothing but black, grimy grease. Lots of it! In fact, I got it all over me! I think it looks so cool!
I have a huge splotch of black on my back and head, and it's kind of a doggie James Dean look. Like a dog that helps it's master work on cars and can fetch tools out of a toolbox. That kind of cool dog! I totally look like that now! I love it! I went home and Mom was so surprised at my new look that she covered her mouth with her hand and her eyes got real big! She tried to wash me but it's not coming off. She tried to get that black stuff off, but finally she gave up and said she'd try again in the morning. Of course, that gave me hours to spread that black stuff all over other parts of my fur, so now there are no angel-white spots of fur showing, just black, charcoal gray, and what mom calls "communist era stucco" whitish-gray.
So, apparently, mom does not like my new super-grunge look. Mom is looking into grooming services and I am going to go in for a shampoo, filthy dog clean up, and to have my hair did. Parents don't understand what's "of the moment" in doggie world. I'm just trying to make a statement. I am being an individualist using mass image conformity in a socially structured hierarchy, imbedding elements of post modern irony to state how by being part of a conformist fashion aesthetic, but aware, that I am, in a quirky way, my own person. But Mom told me her favorite look for me is "Clean, White, Dog."
*sigh* She just doesn't 'get' me.
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