FSP's, chicken broth and doom.

I am a pretty big doggie. By big, I mean fat. The doggie doctor says I am obese, so Mom & Dad have been trying to get me to lose some weight. I've lost a little, but then I hurt my paw nails and didn't run as much for a while and gained most of the weight back. Mom doesn't like to give me dog treats because they are "high fat" and I gain weight when I eat them. She still gives me treats though. She has something she calls "Brocco Specials" which is this yummy little Cheerio looking thing that she dips in low calorie chicken broth. I really like those Brocco Specials, even though they are very tiny. Still, I like em a lot. Mom keeps the chicken broth in a special Brocco Bowl with a lid that makes a crinkly paper sound so I know it's a treat by the sound. 


I have also learned that I have superpowers. I can make highly potent smells from my backside that make humies freak out. Mom calls these little butt explosions FSPs… "Farts of Spectacular Potency." When I make FSPs, Mom jumps up and lights scented candles and Dad gasps for air. I can also make something called "Doom Farts" which will immediately clear the room of all humies. On Game Day, I like to do Doom Farts. I walk in the room, let out a Doom Fart, and then watch all the humies get up and leave. They don't even say anything. They just all get up and leave at the same time. I wagged my tail and asked Mom once why the humies don't say anything, and she said,


"Fart trauma."


Whatever that means.